Too much of anything is bad, whether it be food, lifestyle habit or character trait. Life is all about finding balance, and anything but is not healthy.
Similarly, being an extremely good person, is also bad for you. That does not mean that you get a license to be unkind to people.
However, there are certain signs characteristic of people who are so generous with their being, that it becomes unhealthy for them.
It takes a toll on their mental health, causing them problems meriting a visit to the Psychiatrist then. Moreover, most of the times, the unhealthy level of selflessness is a sign of a preexisting mental issues like low self-esteem or people-pleasing traits.
Here are the signs that you are not simply a nice person but are actually being unkind to yourself.
You would do anything to get validated from those around you. In fact, your ability to not say no, your constant struggle to make others like you and going above and beyond in this regard, accommodating others at your own expense is a sign that you do not consider yourself worthy, and it’s the external validation that keeps you going.
Scared of Conflict
You do not raise your concerns or point out the problem just because you are scared of a conflict. People then use this trait to trample all over you, as they know there will be no confrontation, as you do now want to raise conflict, even if it costs you your peace and, in many cases, money.
Another sign of being a big people pleaser is that you are anxious all the time. You feel constantly on the edge, and it is very easy to perturb your mental peace.
No matter who is fighting, you take the negative emotions personally. You then take it upon yourself to resolve the conflict and fix everything. You also do not like to see anyone else being hurt, sad or in a difficult situation.
Not only are you sensitive to conflict around you, but you are also sensitive to negative energy as well. Moreover, this sensitivity also seeps into your response to criticism; you take it too personally and then lash back.
Naturally, in your endeavor to please everyone, you put them above yourself. Your comfort and ease are not important to you, yourself. Due to this attitude, you also are not into taking care of yourself.
You do not value yourself and think your ideas and not good enough. You then do not voice them, and always undersell yourself.
Since you are neglecting yourself, yourself, others are also not sensitive to your needs. This then makes you resentful of others, and thus you get frustrated when you are asked to constantly do more.
Why is This Dangerous?
This level of niceness then starts to become toxic for yourself. You get emotionally depleted, trying to cater to others but getting neglected, always.
Moreover, you start to resent people for imposing on you, at the same time, not being able to change yourself, which is a frustrating situation to be in.
This then takes a huge toll on the mental health and starts harming your physical health too; people who are excessively good and people pleasers are more likely to get sick.
Therefore, it is important that you cut back on your goodness quotient and aim for balance. Know that prioritizing yourself is not being selfish, thinking of yourself as being worthy is not being pompous.
However, sometimes, the situation is very complicated and people cannot simply will themselves to change. In such instances, it is helpful to seek help from an expert like a Psychiatrist in Islamabad